He will deny everything he has done and blame me, his wife for everything. On occasion he will take some blame. He did not have an income (he always makes sure to spout off that he is in fact working) for a couple of years and no benefits for his family.
No matter what -he has stayed his own course even though financial ruin has been around him. No income, selling his watch to a pawn shop, bringing his wedding ring in to get a loan-then get the ring back, increasing anger, 60K of credit card debts, personal loans from friends–always doing it behind my back, oh and the worst part during all this he would dip into our home equity and say he needs to then all the while he does work per se though has no or spotty income. After a 2 year adjustable arm mortgage he put us in (i would cry and say no I do not want to refinance again) we almost went under. I got our house out of foreclosure by the grace of God.
He tends to still be this Napolean Man and surely this is not the guy I married. I am not sure if he is ill, or addicted to power and control?, or hiding substance abuse? Or chemical imbalance in his brain?
I just want him to get well. I have children to raise with him and after him calling me bad names, etc. ie. abuse on all levels….well just feeling frustrated like when will this end! Has anyone seen someone just throw in the towel for their marriage/family? I mean at times we barely have any money to buy a gallon of milk. I am always frantic running around like a chicken with my head cut off picking up the pieces (ie. getting jobs,etc.) I am scared that he is hiding something that he did. I mean when you see financial ruin for so long is it just depression or something more? Anyone go thru something like this?
Therapists tell me to just focus in on me and my children and let his chips fall where they may. But see what they do not know is he is still loved by me (i love the man he used to be) and he is an amazing Father. Even though he has been cruel to me I still love this Napolean Man!
He has a lot of addiction, ie. alcoholism and drug addiction and depression in his family.
He thinks money is going to solve this (yea some of it it will) but I think there are deeper issues.
Thanks